My Art Shame

Highbrow Pictures in REAL FILM Shocker!

2011-10-23T23:46:00.000+01:00

It's been a while I know, but I do have a really quite excellent excuse for the continuing lack of artwork.

It seems that Highbrow Pictures International, the no-longer-fictional production company behind Talibannosaurus Rex is making an actual, real life, flesh-and-blood movie!

I'm afraid it isn't Talibannosaurus Rex. That seemed a tad ambitious for a first attempt.

Instead it is a short film called Prime Cuts. It's a romantic-black-comedy about a lonely butcher who falls in love with the woman from the vegan wholefood shop across the street. Tragedy and hopefully hilarity ensue.

We're in the early stages of production at the moment, but you can find out more about it and follow our probably quite inept adventures in film-making at Highbrow Pictures International

You can also like Prime Cuts on Facebook

Thank you for your patience, and apologies again for the lack of art. I will try and ensure the end result is worth it!

Roll Up! Roll Up! See the Tragic Creatures that Decency Forgot!

2011-05-21T21:38:00.000+01:00

click to enlarge

Patrons should be advised that the proprietors, Messrs Craven & Cromford, cannot be held responsible for any spells of fainting or swooning, acts of lewdness or vulgarity or otherwise wanton behavior that may be experienced as a result of viewing this exhibit. Those of the fairer sex, or of a timid or nervous disposition may prefer to seek their entertainment elsewhere.

Binge Drinking: A Celebration

2010-12-22T00:40:00.000Z

The noble art of binge drinking has been getting something of a bad press lately.

If you were to believe everything you read, you might be forgiven for thinking that finding oneself properly toasted once in a while was not in any way fun, glamorous or exciting.

In reality of course, a "TEEN VODKA EPIDEMIC" with "thousands of middle class girls drinking themselves senseless" sounds nothing short of absolutely brilliant. The only cause for concern is that I haven't yet been invited.

So, this picture is a celebration and a salute. To lust, and life, and liquor. And to the fact that Greggs the Bakers is now open until 4am.

Merry Christmas.
And please, drink irresponsibly.

Talibannosaurus Rex - Prints Now Available!! Plus Exciting Spot the Difference Competition!

2010-06-12T01:54:00.002+01:00

You heard right, ladies and gentlemen. Prints of TALIBANNOSAURUS REX are now available for purchase at my online store!

Sorry it's taken so long, but I wanted to ensure that you, dear reader, would get the best Talibannosaurus experience possible! Not only have I scoured the globe to find the best printers money could buy (which, strangely enough, were just down the road from my work) but I have also painstakingly IMPROVED the image for maximum poster delight !

Because even though the wonky faces, cramped layout and shonky jeep were of course deliberate in a clever postmodern nod to the variable quality of B-movie poster art, I... uh... decided that wasn't really that funny and fixed them. Cover blown.

In celebration of this momentous occasion, I am giving one limited edition signed A1 poster away FREE to the first person to spot the single entirely new object that has been introduced into the image. Post your entry as a comment to this post and may the best and fastest person win! Don't forget to include an email address!

To aid you in your quest, here is a zoomable preview of the final print image courtesy of Microsoft Seadragon (fullscreen it for best results!):

The Made-Up Movie They Tried To BAN!

2010-05-16T21:23:00.010+01:00

EDIT: In somewhat predictable fashion, there have been a couple of comments elsewhere speculating that the big guy in the background is supposed to be the Prophet Mohammed. He isn't.

But the Stegosaurus right at the back is Jesus.

---------------------------------------------------

Good evening. Welcome. Can I pour you a drink?

An excellent choice, madam. Please, sit down.

Perhaps you are acquainted with the CGSociety website? And with the regular competitions they hold? Well, it was just such a competition that caught my eye one cold afternoon. A 'B-Movie' challenge, no less. Something one might conclude would be ideal for an artist such as myself with an interest in the seamier side of celluloid.

And so I began work on a piece, based on an original teabreak I had enjoyed with some esteemed colleagues. I foolishly dreamt that I might defeat all-comers and seize the contest for myself.

But it was not to be. The moderators decided that my piece was just too intelligent and politically insightful to be allowed in the competition.

So now it is complete, it falls to me to unveil this work here, in my own humble corner of the internet...

(click to enlarge)

And here are some detail shots, for the detail-minded amongst you: